Dirty hoe

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 04:41:32 GMT

Well after i've read over all of these people who say they want to be my friends its very sickening to my to realize how many of these people have back stabbed me or been a true ass holes. If i think your my true friend i will add you to my journal, everyone else who i dont put on, well i think you know what it means, im sick of all this crap and i dont want to be appart of it. Just leave me alone and dont msg me ever agian.

God must hate me.

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 04:52:50 GMT

Well, today started off to be a pretty good day. School was nice. Sam Simon, & I ditched gym. I was in the "cafe" with Amanda 4th hour. I have gym 4&5. So yeah. Sam, and I care Shayna and Amy like, fucking in the bathroom. Nice. Hah. So yeah. Everything else was good. I slept in study hall. And it was good. I woke up at the end of class to Evan like, punching me in the back. I woke right away. Blah. Lunch was so funny. And then yes. The rest of the day was the same. I went to Amanda's. Then went to the Orthodontist. And back to Amanda's. Well, we got into a big fight. Neil now works at KFC, & even though it was his second day - I ran to KFC. And Neil calmed me down. I threw up 4 times on the way to KFC. Amanda & I are fine now. Yay. Blah. We have a half day of school. *cheers* I am excited. Right now, I am talking to Mike, Amanda, and Drew D.

+Essy - I miss you. You should come online sometime so we can party it up. I have been fine, thanks. Good luck with school, and you're boyfriend.

+Today at lunch, this guy named M*** was telling this story of how he was looking at porn sites. Well, he was looking at this really hot chick wearing a skirt, and I guess she was like, wow. So, he was scrolling down, and she had a picture with her legs spread. This "girl" has a pee pee.

Who knows.

Mon, 09 Feb 2004 21:28:56 GMT

+Today I was really sad, & I had no idea why. I was fine in some classes. After 6&7, I was fine. But before that, I was sad. Very sad. I felt like dying the whole day. And I tried to pick my cuts, but it's hard when it's on your legs. Amanda Hienz gave me lotion, and I put it on my leg. Oo the pain. It felt good. Lunch was very funny. Chris W. is sooo funny. I love him. Amanda and I have to go to my counselin appointment today. Which is very exciting. I may post a picture of my blue hair, soon. Wait, and see! *sigh* Have you ever put on an act to make someone happy? And that act goes away, BUT you still feel like you're on the act because that's what you know? Being sad sucks so much. I am going to order some Nick Scimeca infect shit soon. I hope. It's my birthday on the 25th, and I am excpecting a lot. Hmph. John Mook is on. And he hasn't been. And I IMed him, and he has not IMed me back. Which sucks.

+ I love you, and your sweet hair.

Mon, 09 Feb 2004 03:18:23 GMT

My cousin Samantha is now living with us. It's pretty cool. She sleeps with me every night. I don't think she is adjusted to my house yet, and I think she might be scared. So she sleeps with me. She goes to bed real early. Like 10. But I stay up real late on the phone with Amanda. Amanda and I had a good weekend. Only one fight! Yay. We're so cute. Anyways, on Friday - I surprised her and went to this ice rink thing by my house. I gave her a real neat card I made, and gave her a new engagment ring since she lost the old one. And we skated with our shoes. It was very cute, and amazing. Sam had her boyfriend Allen over this weekend. He is so fun, and funny. They are going to get married. I know it. Kori talked to me. IMing me about her cutting. Whoop de do. Like I care. I IMed Taj and bitched him out soooo good. I said everything to him that has been on my mind forever. I feel so good. I don't know what else to say.

+For those of you who think Amanda are ugly - You guys are idiots for saying she is ugly. And you are a pussy for not leaving your name. There is a few reasons that you're not leaving your name...
1. You're a pussy, and you know you're ugly, too.
2. You know you're wrong, and that she is beautiful.
+Also, think about this.. you guys know I am kind of shallow.. I guess you could say. I wouldn't date someone ugly. And I wouldn't date someone fat. Now, if I was already dating Amanda, and she got fat and ugly - I would still stay with her. But think about this, if Amanda was ugly, would I date her? NO. So therefore, she is obviously not ugly.
+There is plenty of people who think she is cute and beautiful and such. And she knows that. There is more people for her looks, then anti her looks. You idiot. If you're so serious, and so big and bad - leave your name.

++Good luck, Stephy. I love you.

Amanda, baby.. People are stupid. You're beautiful. I love you.

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 03:13:38 GMT

Grr Rawr. I am sick.

Yesterday we got out of school early because of the snow. I have no idea why we went to school in the first place. So, yeah. Amanda and I partied at Evan's. It was fun. Evan was being silly. He made us all pizza. Aw, thanks, Evan. Sarah Heald is gives me dirty looks every time I am by Evan. EVAN IS MY FRIEND TOO, YOU FAT BITCH. Immature to say that - but true. Amanda and I got picked up from Evan's and didn't do much. American Idol. That's about it. So, today I didn't go to school. I was way tired, and weak. I threw up. My step dad took me to the docter. I have an ear infection, and a sinus infection. And I also think I have food poisioning. Blah. Amanda came over after school.It was all cute. Then I went to her house, and yes. I threw up at her house. Icky. *sigh* I feel so icky. Anyways, Amanda and I kissed lots at her house. It was cute.

I am now at home feeling like shit. Save me.

I want to change my journal.
Leave a comment, and give me ideas.
Please?

I love Mandaw. Gooo bye!!

Tue, 27 Jan 2004 09:58:48 GMT

3:54 am and I am awake. I had a bad dream, and woke up. And I now can't get back to sleep. I talked to Mikey, but he got off. So now I am just talking to Jessica Thoma. I am freezing my ass off. I talked to Mike Fagan for like point 2 seconds. So, no one is on. And Jessica isn't going her job of keeping me awake. I am not going to go to bed. I am sucking on a sucker, and it's fun. You know, I think my happiness is slwoly fading away, and that depresses me. I saw the movie Cabin Fever. It's gross. I am bored, and I felt like updating.

I wish I was beautiful like Amanda, or Beth. Or even Mikey.

I am going.

I suck.

Fri, 23 Jan 2004 19:55:06 GMT

Finals have stressed me out so much. During every one of them, I felt like crying. I suck in school so much. It's so hard for me. I think I did okay for most of them. This kid Kevin Dravis copied off of me until number 76 when Mr.Beerbower caught him. He still got to do the final, though. Which was good for him. Drew made me feel good in Health today. He kept laughing, and it was making me giggle. I am going to miss smelling him everyday. He always smells so good.He made the final seem easy for some reason. World History.. Having Amanda four desks away calmed be down a lot. I'm glad she is in one of my classes. I am going to miss seeing her smile, and laugh at lunch. 504plan is breaking up. So I hear. I cried. That is very sad. I don't like that. Someone said "If 504plan breaks up, 504plan will be breaking heart" That is so true. Hmph. my nose is rejecting the metal in it, so I have to clean it with water, and evaporated salt of the ocean. It tingles sometimes. Hmph. Tony is coming home tomorrow. I don't know for how long. But him and I are going to hang out. Yippie! Amanda, Jessica T, Drew G, and I are going to the movies tonight to see Big Fish. Best movie ever. I love that movie. Hmph. I don't know what else to write.

++ my Grandpa is okay.

I love you, Grandpa.

Fri, 16 Jan 2004 04:46:12 GMT

WHEN I WAS LITTLE, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME. AND WE WOULD PLAY SCHOOL BUS IN THE LIVING ROOM. I REMEMBER GETTING OUT OF THE "BUS" AND FIXING THE TIRE. I REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE LOST, AND I CRIED A LOT EVEN THOUGH WE WERE SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM. AND THEN I REMEMBERD I STOPPED CRYING BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE. AND YOU ALWAYS MADE EVERYTHING OKAY. AND I REMEMBER WHEN YOU GOT ME UP IN THE MORNING TO EAT BREAKFEST WITH YOU. AND I REMEMBER HOW YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE THIS WORLD TILL I DIED. ME!! I'M NOT LEAVING YET. WHY ARE YOU? YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE MY MOM AND DAD DID. YOU'RE LEAVING ME, AND IM NOT READY. I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE. YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO MAKE MY BABY HAVE THEIR FIRST LAUGH. DONT LEAVE. YOU CANT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AND I KNOW I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU. YOU TOLD ME IF SOMETHING HAPPEND TO ME, YOU WOULD DIE OF A BROKEN HEART... DONT KILL ME!!! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER WHEN NO ONE ELSE GOOD. YOUR CUTE LITTLE SMILE. YOUR REASSURING HUGS. YOU LITTL KISSES. OUR NOONIE NOONIES! YOU CANT LEAVE THAT. WE WERE SUPPOSE TO GROW REAL REAL OLD TOGETHER, AND DIE TOGETHER. YOU CANT LEAVE EARLY. I NEED YOU. I NEED YOU TO YELL AT ME WHEN I FUCK UP. AND I NEED YOU TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. I LOVE YOU GRANDPA! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME...

I love you, Grandpa.

Fri, 16 Jan 2004 04:44:55 GMT

Hmph.

Thu, 15 Jan 2004 03:44:45 GMT

I was told that everyone hates me. And you know, I was thinking, and I thought it was true. But you know, now that I really think about it. I don't care anymore. There is a lot of people who still do like me. And you know, I am making new friends at shows and things. I am friends with an amazing person named Essy. She is new, and likes me. People like her, and people who want friendships make me happy. And that's all I need. Drew and I got into a fight, but we are giving eachother chances because we don't want to fight. WE ARE ACTUALLY MATURE UNLIKE OTHER PEOPLE. Anyways, I stayed home from school today, because Drew said so many people hated me.. I didn't even want to go. I slept until 2:10. I got showered, and Amanda picked me up right after school. I found out my mom's best friend Earl died today. She died of cancer. It was like, so sad- I couldn't even cry. I wasn't ready for this. Well, went Amanda and I went to go get in Steph's car.. She backed up.. So we walked back to get to the car. Then she pulled up. Then I opened the door, and she backed up, but I jumped in the car, because if I hadn't I would have gotten killed. For serious. The door almost hit Manda. *sad* We went to Panera bread. Sarah Heald and I are no longer friends, which is so fine with me. Anyways, I think Shauna, Amanda, and I are going to hang out at Shauna's tomorrow. Which is cool stuff. I don't know what else to say.

I love John Mook. He makes my life amazing. I want to say thank you, John. You're great.

I was once the girl that everyone knew and loved but I've slipped away and faded into a world of hatred and lies.
I'am the forgotten child of Chicago who everyone once knew and loved but I am slowly slipping away into a world of nobodies and nothing. It's sad how your life changes when one thing goes wrong.-Essy Rizo

Essy: That is how I feel. I am sorry that things aren't going your way, and although we aren't real good friends, I am here if you need to talk to me. I am feeling like you, so maybe I can help. I love ya. *hugs*

Shitty Pop Punk Bands.

Tue, 13 Jan 2004 02:10:37 GMT

Hmph. I don't remember the last time I updated was... Nevermind. Yes, I do. But at the same time, I don't. Okay, well, this weekend was fun. Well, Thrusday night when Amanda was over - Her and I were wrestling. Joking around like always. But yes, I will get to the bottom line. I ended up going to the hospital. I have my arm in a sling. And two days out of school. Exciting. So, on Friday, I had no school. I slept. MMM. Then, Amanda came over, and we went to a movie. We saw Cheaper By the Dozen. Cute. Well, then we came home and watched tv. She made me a get well card. Well, her and Shauna. It is, and was very cute. Saturday, Amanda and I slept at her house. We didn't really do anything. We watched a movie. It was a long movie. Storm of the Centry. Good movie. We watched some of it. Then we got tired, and went to bed. Then Sunday, Amanda and Steph cleaned her closet. And Steph cleaned her own. She gave me a bunch of cute clothes. Nice. MMMHMMM. Anyways, Amanda slept over on Sunday, and her and I both stayed home from school. We went with my Grandpa to the hospital to get tests done. He needs open heart surgery again. I almost start a crying. I wove my Grandpa. But yeah. Then we went to McDonald's. Then we came home. Grandpa, Amanda and I watched Finding Nemo. Then Amanda and I went to sleep. Then my dad came over, and broguht over my Christmas presents finally. Then Amanda and I just watched tv. My mom made us this good food stuff. Yummy. Then we went home. My mom and I then went to my mom's friends house because I needed to find Earlene's divorce paper file online because she has cancer, and set to die within the next week. Sad. I find them. Go me. Then I came home. I just got off the phone with Zak. And I am suppose to call him later.

Well, I am going to go now.

I love you.
And you.
But mostly, I love Mandaw.

Oh, and one other thing, I hope all you pathetic fucks die.

Oh and another another thing, Essy - I read your journal from a few days ago, and I hope whatever is wrong, gets right. And hope you smile soon.

To You.

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 07:18:28 GMT

To whom it may concern,
I am not writing this for people's enjoyment, so see how lame I am. This is not for you to look at, and make stupid comments. This is for a friend of mine.

Dear you,
I have heard from my girlfriend that you have thought some bad things about yourself. You think you're fat. But I don't see how you could think that. You're not fat at all. You have cut yourself, and thought about suicide. No reason for you to think that way. I am sure you think many people are judging you. But they're not. I use to think the same way. I would look at everyone and wonder what they thought of me. And I bet you think thay way, too. But you shouldn't. You don't need to be looking at pictures of cutting, and suicide. You're such a beautiful, loving, fun girl. You're too good for that stuff. You may be confused on why I said "too good for that stuff." You are too beautiful for that. Your scars will not go away, and I wish they would. You're so beautiful, and there is no reason you should be thinking bad. You probably have a lot of things on your mind you may be shy, or scared to talk about. But I want you to know that I am always here for you. Although we are not good friends, you can always come to me. And I will always be here for you. I want to be better friends. We used to be close.. I want that again. I will be here. Don't cut. You should love yourself. You're beautiful. I hope this helped in some way. I will always be here. I love ya, dear.

Stolen from Essy

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 21:38:59 GMT

1) Using band names, spell out your name
Five Oh Four Plan
Early November
Lagwagon
Imperial teen
Coheed and Cambria
Interpol
Acadamey

2) Have you ever had a song written about you?: No.

3) What song makes you cry?: August in Bethany - Juliana Theory

4) What song makes you happy?: Any 504plan song.

5) What do you like to listen to before bed?: 504plan

PT. II

a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 5'5
Color of hair: Pink.
SKIN COLOR: White or something.
EYE COLOR: Brown.
PIERCINGS: Ears. Nose. Eyebrow.
TATTOOS: Getting Boy On Swing soon.

r i g h t n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Blue jeans.
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Friday Night In D Mjor - 504plan
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Winter Fresh gum.
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Cold.

d o y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: No.
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Yes. I begin telling someone something, then I stop.
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: For the most part, yes.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: Guess so.

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: That 70's Show.
CONDITIONER: Treseme.
BOOK: Youth in Revolt.
MAGAZINE: -
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Cherry Coke
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Malibu.
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Be with Amanda.
BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: 504plan.

h a v e y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: Yes.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: Yes.
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: Yes.
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Yes.
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Yes.
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: No.
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: Yes.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Yes.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: Yes.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Yes.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER:Yes.

l o v e
BOYFRIEND: I don't have one.
GIRLFRIEND: Amanda.
SEXUALITY: Bisexual.
CHILDREN: Hope to have some.
CURRENT CRUSH: Amanda, but that's not only a crush.
BEEN IN LOVE?: I am in love.
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Yes.
BEEN HURT?: Yes.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Telling someone how I felt.
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: I'm sure.

r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: aNo.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: 504plan.
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Brown. My tip would never get used. People don't like brown.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Mikey, John, and Amanda.
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: Amanda, and John.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Not sure.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Mikey, John, Amanda, and my dog.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: Sleep. Talk. Eat. Amanda.

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: Few months ago.
THING YOU PURCHASED: Boca Burger
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Not even sure.
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Mona Lisa Smile

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
ABORTION: Bad. Don't fuck.
TEENAGE SMOKING: Icky.
SPICE GIRLS: I wanted to be one.
DREAMS: I love dreams.

Hmph. School was amazing.

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 03:59:33 GMT

I miss someone a lot.
And there is a problem with missing this person.
I can't be with this person whenever I want.
And it sucks.
I sound lame - I know.
I would give anything to feel their arms holding me in an amazing hug.

I suck.

I have pink hair now.
For those of you who didn't know.
I look cute.

I am talking to Essy right now.
How awesome.
We aren't really friends.
But we talk.
I bet she doesn't like me.

I talked to Larry today.
He made me giggle.

I printed out pictures from the Plan show.
They are hot.

I am on the Mayfield street team now.
I don't know if I like them or not.
But I like promoting.

My computer in my room is broken.
I am pissed.

I have to e-mail Zak a picture.

Bye.

Stolen.

Sun, 04 Jan 2004 06:22:00 GMT

Well, I found Laurie's journal again, and i saw this. So, I stole it. Sorry.

-.F I R S T.T H I N G S.F I R S T.-
[my name is]: Felicia
[in the morning I am]: very bitchy.
[all I need is]: Amanda.
[love is]: Amazing.
[I'm afraid of]: losing my close friends.
[I dream]: of living by the ocean.

-.F A V O R I T E S.-
[color]: Brown.
[number]: 7
[subject]: English.
[clothing brand]: Eh. Don't really care.
[shoe brand]: Converse, I guess.
[sport to play]: I don't really play sports.
[drink]: Cherry Coke
[animal]: Dogs.
[holiday]: Christmas, and Thanksgiving.
[favorite line from a movie]: "I wish I could speak whale"
[band]: 504plan, you idiot.
[singer]: Mikey Russell.
[song]: Friday Night in D Major.
[actor]: Giovonni Ribisi
[actress]: Hmm...
[movie]: Finding Nemo.
[tv show]: That 70's show.

-.H A V E.Y O U.E V E R.-
[pictured your crush naked?]: Like, two.
[actually seen your crush naked]: Yes.
[made love]: Yes.
[been in love]: I am right now.
[cried when someone died]: Yes.
[lied]: Yes. But I hate lying.

-.W H O.-
[makes you laugh the most]: Danny, and Amanda. Oh, and Steph, too.
[makes you smile]: Amanda. Steph. John Mook.
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: The Plan boys. And I got a weird feeling when I saw John the other night. It was a scary feeling.
[has a crush on you]: I don't know.
[easiest to talk to]: Amanda, and John.

-D O.Y O U.E V E R.-
[sit on the Internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you]: No. I am always with Amanda, and she is the only one I really need to talk to.
[save aim conversations]: I have AIM+. It saves my convesations for me.
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: Nope.
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: I used to.

-.H A V E.Y O U.E V E R.-
[fallen for your best friend]: Yes.
[been rejected]: Everyone has.
[rejected someone]: Yes.
[used someone]: Yes. Horrible me.
[been cheated on]: I'm sure.
[done something you regret]: Yes.

-.D O.Y O U / A R E.Y O U.-
[smoke cigarettes]: No.
[obsessive]: Yes.
[could you live without the computer?]: No way.
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: I did a lot of deleting. I now have 92 people.
[what's your favorite food?]: Boca Burger.
[whats your favorite fruit?]: Oranges.
[drink alcohol]: No.
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: They are both beautiful.
[what hurts the most?]: being alone.
[trust others way too easily]: Trusting is hard.

-.N U M B E R.-
[of times I have had my heart broken]: Many.
[of continents I have lived in]: One.
[of drugs taken illegally]: A lot. Stupid me.
[of times I've had sex]: 6 or 7 - with guys. With Amanda - can't count.
[of tight friends]: About four.
[of cd's that I own]: A lot. Like 182.
[of scars on my body]: About 50.
[of things in my past that I regret]: I try not to regret much.

-.P I C K.O N E.-
[marry perfect friend or perfect lover]: Your lover is your best friend.
[cats or dogs]: Dogs.
[1 pillow or 2]: Neither. 5.
[with or without ice cubes]: Depends what you're talking about.
[top or bottom]: Bottom.
[winter/spring/summer/fall]: Fall and Summer.
[night or day]: Night.
[gloves or mittens]: Both.
[dressed or undressed]: Both.
[bunk or water bed]: I want a water bed so bad.
[mtv or vh1]: Neither. Tv sucks.
[ocean or pool]: Ocean.
[showers or baths]: Depends on my mood.
[love or lust]: Love.
[silver or gold]: Silver.
[diamonds or pearls]: Dimonds.

-.I F.Y O U.C O U L D.-
[Move anywhere]: By the ocean.
[Meet one famous person]: John from Something Corporate. He is so cute.
[Live with one person the rest of your life]: Amanda.
[Name one thing you love]: My life.
[Name one thing that embarrasses you]: Nothing really embarasses me.
[Do you like school?]: No.
[Do you like to talk on the telephone?]: Only to Amanda.
[Do you like to dance?]: Dirty. With Amanda.
[Do you sing in the shower?]: Yes. Amanda caught me singing in the shower.
[Do you think cheerleading is a sport?]: Eh. No.
[What's on your ceiling?]: Rips and shit. I don't know. Blue paint.
[What's the hardest thing about growing up?]: Losing loves.

Amanda just got out of her bath.
She looks all cute, and comfy.
I wove her.

I am talking to John Mook.
I guess you could say it is exciting.
He is drunk.
Stupid John.

I wove Mandaw.
Goodbye.

Whoa.

Sat, 03 Jan 2004 07:40:09 GMT

Hey, fucks. Long time no write. Well, I have written - But nothing exciting. Okay, well, my "winter break" has been quite amazing. Hmph.. Let's see. Amanda and I have been together like, the whole break. It's been amazing although her and I have had some troubles. Well, my Christmas was amazing. I got everything I wanted. My new years was amazing, although all I did was watch movies with Amanda. Oh, and we played Trouble, and drank NON ALCOHOLIC wine. And we ate popcorn, and cheese. Das da life. I loved it though. Blah. I am going to make my new year amazing. No cutting. No fighting. I love life. I am going to be happy. I have amazing parents, amazing friends, and my wonderful amazing girlfriend. Why was I ever sad? Weird. Well, the other day my dad brought over Mexican food and I tried to make Amanda eat it. It's good. She is just weird. Well, Thursday night, Amanda and Steph died my hair. Hot pink. It is awesome. I love it. Then Friday, Julie, Vicki, Amanda and I went to go see 504plan. Amazing show. I will update more about it at my house. I made four new friends tonight. Essy, Larry, Nicholas, and some guy. Pretty nice. I rock. Well, I am going to go.

"Non alcoholic wine is the thing to drink" - Amanda Roberts.

^ Listen to her kids.
^ She is a smart old lady.
^ Respect the grandmas.

Mon, 29 Dec 2003 07:00:08 GMT

I know I said I wasn't going to update until after the 504plan show.
But you guys have to see this.
Look at my baby.

Sun, 28 Dec 2003 22:45:28 GMT

I have decided that I am not going to update until after the 504plan show. Is that a problem for anyone? If so, comment.

Weird.

Mon, 22 Dec 2003 18:10:05 GMT

What the fuck has been going on with me lately? Nothing much. My life has been so amazing since John and I had that talk. MMM! I love life. Amanda and I are amazingly good. A few bumps and such. But we are great overall. Taj and I are blah. Oh well. Christmas is soon. Oh, On Wedensday - I got in a fight at school. With this girl Sam. I won. Ha. Anyways, I just got off the phone with this guy Zak. It was weird. It had been One year, two months and like a week since I talked to him. And he IMed me. I guess one of his Christmas wishes was to get in touch with me, and apologize. Him and I are going to start talking again. I am actually excited. I got this huge smile on my face when he IMed me. Weird. Anyways, I look forward to our friendship. I miss Amanda. She left like an hour or so ago. And I miss her. I have been shopping, and buying people's Christmas presents. How exciting. I don't know what to say. Bye

Stolen from some great writter. giggle

Thu, 11 Dec 2003 01:50:02 GMT

01. I am happiest when: I am with Amanda.
02. I feel lonely when: I am not with Amanda. And when I have to sleep alone.
03. The ideal relationship would be: Is the one I am in.
04. Favorite movie(s): Finding Nemo, Freaky Friday, and others.
05. Favorite author: IStephen King.
06. What makes you cry: Myself.
07. Introvert or extrovert: Hmph.
08. Do you think too much: Yes. Way too much for someone my age.
09. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be: By the ocean.
10. A famous person you would like to meet: Anthony Hopkins.
11. Do you believe in organized religion: Yes.
12. Pro-life or pro-choice: Pro - choice.
13. Are you a vegetarian: Off and On.
14. Do you support the death penalty: Yes.
16. What would you most like to be doing right now: Holding Amanda.
17. Do you have any regrets: No. I try not to.
18. Sex or love: Love.
19. Favorite coffee: Blah.
20. Brand of cigarettes: I don't smoke.
21. Favorite scent: Cucumber Melon.
23. Favorite way to waste time: Sleep.
24. If you won $50,000,000 what would you do with it: Start my life.
+ I don't know what happend to 25. Just play along +
26. What is your best quality: My nose. And I'm honest.
27. Are you currently in lust?: No, but I am inlove.
28. What's the craziest thing you have ever done: I have done a lot of crazy things. But I think it would have to be.. I snuck someone in my house at likfe 4 in the morning and had a wild orgy. Just kidding about the orgy part.
29: Food I miss most at the moment: Panera Bread.
30. Any bad habits: I bite my nails.
31. Do you find it hard to trust people: YES!
32. Do you ever doubt yourself: Not so much anymore.
33. Last book you read: The Perks of Being a WallFlower.
34. Last thing you bought for yourself: School Lunch?
35. Bath or shower: Shower.
36. Favorite season: Summer.
37. Porn or erotica: Porn.
38. What is your favorite flavor: Lemon, or orange.
39. What is your favorite time of day: Night.
40. Gold or silver: Silver.
41. What is the lamest pickup line someone has used on you: I don't know.
42. Silk sheets or cotton: Cotton
43. Any secret crushes: Nope.
44. Do you ever feel you are insane: Yes,
45. Favorite style of music: Emo.
46. Favorite film genre: Horror.
47. If you could be the opposite sex for one day, would you do it: Masturbate.
48. What do you desire most in life: To be with Amanda forever.
49. Do you believe in destiny: Yes.
50. Are you more inclined to set short or long term goals for yourself?: Long Term.

++ Today is the first day Amanda and I haven't seen eachother since she went to Cali. Which was in August. Which sucks. I miss her. Bye.

++++ I am an idiot and I totally forgot this EVEN THOUGH I don't know how I could have forgotten. Taj and I are back "together" YAY FUCKING YAY. Be happy. I am.

Today sucks.

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 23:09:04 GMT

Okay, today totally sucked. And it is still sucking as we speak. I got to stay home from school today and Amanda got to also. Super cool, right? No. I tell her to call me at 12:00, and if she is sleeping, when she wakes up. So I am at the docters doing my stuff. I go out to eat with my mom. And we rush home so I can sit and talk to Amanda on the phone all day. She never called. I called her at 4:00 and you know, she didn't even remember to call me. So I asked her if she was coming over for an hour or so. And she said no. She can't. So, she came online apologizing to me. First of all, she is the one who said she would, and could come over today. She didn't remember that, either. She forgot what I said about calling me, and she forgot she was going to come over. I am surprised that she still remembers we are going out, and she loves me. Anyways, I got online hoping maybe John was on. But he's not. Last night, I was supposed to come back online and talk to him, but my computer like had a major breakdown, and decided to fuck up. I was like Fuck! I was real sad. I don't even think John remembered that him and I were going to talk. Blah. Today is worse than yesterday, but I am sure tomorrow will be better. I love life. I rock.

Here are three great poems you need to read. They were written on 12.3.03 by my friend Drew Davenport.
+++ Hea(fe)rt +++
.+. I love Fe.
.+. She is cool.
.+. And funny.
.+. And it's Jess's birthday.
.+. Jessica is reading this.
.+. So if Fe.
.+. Do coo choo.

+++ Great Poem +++
.+. Bad.
.+. Sad.
.+. Mad.
.+. Pad... dle.
.+. Fad.
.+. Chad.
.+. Lad.

+++ All Night +++
.+. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
.+. My expeirence on a slide.

Drew is a great writer.
Amanda also wrote a poem, but I can't put it in here right now. I don't want to leave this gigglely mood. But I will put it in there.

++ Leave comments and tell Drew how great he is.
.... *giggle* You don't have to..

_____________>BUT IT WOULD BE NICE.

.+.John Mook.+.

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 03:23:56 GMT

+Today I didn't really do anything.
+School sucked. I walked the halls like a zombie. I hated today.
+After school, Steph had to drive me home right away, so no time with Amanda. I came online for a little bit, and I talked to John Mook. *smile* He said a little thing to me that changed my life. Seriously. All of you know how I am depressed, and I hate life, and all that. Today, John said to me "It's a fact. Some days are worse than others." And all I said was no. But then I really started thinking about that. And it's true. I think I am now going to look at life differently. If something bad happens, there will be a better day. I think that is going to be my moto from now on. John saved me from my depression. Ten thousand million stars for John. How amazing is he? Pretty fucking amazing.
+Anyways, I went to go get my braces checked, and they should be off soon. Yay!.. Kinda.
+Then my step dad and I went out to eat. It was actually nice being out with him. Him and I don't do much stuff. We talked a lot, and I liked it.
+When we were done eating, we went to Best Buy. The best store ever. And I got a new keyboard for my computer. It is so fucking amazing, awesome, and beautiful. I think I am going to sleep with it tonight. Haha.
+I then had to go to my counsler's place. Tina and I talked about a lot of stuff. Gosh, I love her. She's great. But yeah.
+Then I came home, and called Amanda. I talked to her for a while, and then I came online. I have talked to Taj, Drew, Mikey, and John. John just got off. And now I am talking to Drew.
+I'm not going to school tomorrow. Yay. Even though it's Mr. Wetzel's last day.. *sad face* I am going to miss him.

+I love you. If you're reading this.. I don't care who you are. I love you.

The night I spent with you..

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 01:34:50 GMT

+Today was an alright kind of day. School was alright kind of day. More lame than usual. After school, I went to Amanda's. We ate pizza. And then I got picked up. I got my nose repeirced and it looks really cute. I love it.
+I decided to talk to Taj for a while because I needed him, but then I told him Amanda and I were still together, and he freaked out. He is such a loser. I don't him to never talk to me again. I fucking hate that fag.
+I got my 504plan stuff, and Nick wrote me a little note. It was and is very cute. I need to start working on my 504plan wall again. Oops.
+For those of you who read my journal and don't sign a name after they comment, you have one more chance to write your names. If you do not write your names, I am going to block all anonymous comments. Stop being suck pussies. You can say it, but you can't take the blame for it? Grow up. You guys have one chance.
+Life is amazing. I have not cut in the longest time, and I am so proud of myself.
+Amanda got me a black rose. It is sooooo fucking beautiful. It's fake, but it still loves real. And it is just as beautiful. She is so amazing. I love her so much.
+John Mook and I talk a lot. He is such a sweet guy. I love him. I hope him and I get real close like Mikey and I were. Mikey now hates me for some unknown reasons.
+Sorry if I am repeating things I have already posted. I don't remember what I have and haven't posted. I suck like that.
+I am going to go.

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 18:27:53 GMT

Wow. There has been a lot going on lately. Well, not really. Thanksgiving was good. That weekend was awesome because Amanda was with me. Uhm.. Wedensday was mine and Amanda's 6th month. We didn't do anything then. But then Friday, we gave eachother our presents. My dream was to stand on a star before I die. She cut out a big paper star. I stood on that while her and I danced. She also sang to me while we were dancing. Oh gosh. I love her. Then she gave me whole body massage. Front and back. Amazing. I made her this poster type thing. Blah. Yeah. It was amazing. Gosh, I love her. Uhm, I am friends with John Mook. He is an amazing guy. He makes me laugh all the time, and he doesn't even know it. He's so cute. He is my journal background. So cute. Uhm, I saw Summer's End the other night. I am sure you guys remember reading about the 504plan concert where I punched a guy in the face 6 times. Friday, I saw him, and he was walking past me. And I punched him in the face again. HAHA. It was awesome. Yeah. John - the bassist from Summer's End bought me a ring. It was out of the quarter machine. It was cute. Yeah. I don't know anything else. Bye.

Fri, 05 Dec 2003 05:09:30 GMT

Oh my. I have been so busy lately. I don't really have time to update. But I will Sunday.

John Mook is my friend.

Dirty hoe

God must hate me.

Who knows.

I love you, Grandpa.

I love you, Grandpa.

Hmph.

Shitty Pop Punk Bands.

To You.

Stolen from Essy

Stolen.

Whoa.

Weird.

Stolen from some great writter. *giggle*

Today sucks.

.+.John Mook.+.

The night I spent with you..

Stolen from some great writter. giggle